just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
