Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I love you. Go after that dick
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
