hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
