So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
