He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
