Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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