I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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