You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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