This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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