Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
