Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
