So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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