i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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