I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
