Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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