And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
