Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize