In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
