Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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