I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
