well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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