People with herpes should wear stickers.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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