I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
