shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
