I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
