I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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