I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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