There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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