Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
