If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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