I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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