Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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