Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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