Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
