Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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