I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
