i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
