evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
