Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
