at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
