Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
