dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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