Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
