I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
