is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
