she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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