we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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