i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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