just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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