We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
