Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
