nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize