We're like a lot better than the average bears
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So squirting runs in the family.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
