I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
