so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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