i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
