when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
