I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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