3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
