I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
