they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
