her vagine was all disorganized.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
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smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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