This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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