i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
